Finally, I'm Ready.

"Life is like a box of chocolates - you never which one you are going to get."

I don't know who wrote that quote but boy did they hit that nail on the head. I had my entire life planned out for myself at 14 years old - I wanted to play softball at a Division I school (UCLA actually - funny I ended up at USC). But on December 29th, 2007, I was about to pick a chocolate from the chocolate box I never expected and never wanted.

As most of you know who follow my story know that I was injured in a skiing accident in Big Bear when I was a sophomore in high school leaving me paralyzed from the neck down. Yes, that means LITERALLY no movement from the neck down. My whole world was flipped in one second. I'd spend my last days on that mountain not knowing it would be the last days I spend getting around on my two feet.

Life doesn't come with warning signs, caution tape or second chances. Unfortunately, for me I did to learn that an extremely hard way. I would find the next couple years of my life drastically different and more challenging than I could ever in my worst nightmares imagine.

When you have everything taken away from you, it forces you to dig deep within yourself to bring to the surface something you didn't even know was there in the first place. Are you wondering what the thing was that surfaced for me? Well it was my Nattitude.

I developed a fierce, positive, can't tear me down attitude. This inner super force within me helped me develop the strength that I needed to funnel negativity out of my life that didn't belong there. Do you know how easy it could of been for me to roll over? How easy it could of been for me to cry my eyes out every morning my doctor came in and asked me if I could feel him touching my toe with my response of "no" time? Or when I had friends stare at me funny or disappear from my life because of an accident I never asked for? How about when the physical pain of my injury took over and I couldn't leave my bed for days on end?

My injury took a lot of things away from me, but not my spirit. I'll never lose that.

For awhile, December 29th and Big Bear held a big stake in my life. When that day rolls around each year even if I'm busy and don't notice the date, my heart and head don't feel right. Then I'll have a friend or family member text me and I'll think of that's why I feel weird.

The point of this story is that because I had a shitty thing happen on that date - I've let that negativity energy boil in the pits of my stomach and hurt. The truth is, I don't hate Big Bear or skiing - I actually really liked the two until the obvious. But just because a bad thing happen in a place doesn't mean it has to be like that for the rest of your life.

On December 30th, I'll be going back to Big Bear. Back to the exact place my life changed. I haven't been there since my accident. It's time to close that tragic door and open space for an already incredible new one. I have been tested and the results show...

I am stronger than I was.

I am bolder than I was.

Most importantly, I am braver than I ever imagined I could be.

The moral of this story? Life will test you. Life will knock you down. You determine how you get back up. You are more capable than you ever imagined.

Wish me luck on the 30th, not like I need it ;)

Xoxo,

N