A Day In The Life Of A Quadriplegic

A daily routine is something that everyone pretty much has - guaranteed they are all quiet different according to the individual.

Before my skiing accident, my Mom described me as a "pop tart" that was my nickname because every morning I would jump out of my bed much like how a pop tart leaps out of the toaster when it's done.

In high school, being an athlete I was always late to bed and early to rise. And I loved every second of it. At my 5:30 wakeup call, I would put my hair in a sloppy bun throw a headband on, some flips flops and put on an outfit for the day.

The day would preceed to be quite long as a 6am zero period start was always a struggle to get used to then practice everyday from 1-4pm then I would go drop my stuff off at home and go run about 6-7 miles at the beach. That was my favorite part of the day.

So naturally, 3/4 of the things I used to love to do in my daily routine are no longer apart of my regimen. Which was incredibly hard to get used to. I no longer had that sense of independence or constant cardio buzz I loved. What was I going to do to replace those things I loved doing daily?

I didn't know the answer to that question for awhile.

When I got home from inpatient care at St. Judes hospital, I learned my routine wasn't exactly going to be a routine anymore. The reason why was that everyday my body was different. Different in the way that, I had higher amounts of pain in my neck some days that only enabled me to sit up in my wheelchair for about 3 hrs maximum then I would have to go back to my bed and lay flat for a couple of hours to make the throbbing pain go away again. I like to describe my neck pain as this, if you can picture a 15 lb bowling ball on a rubber neck - that was pretty much what it felt like 24/7.

My neck, shoulders, and arms had so much pain all the time. I would wakeup some mornings and think okay this day isn't so bad with my pain levels then it would just hit me like a freight train - unable to manage any activities for the rest of the day. Sometimes, I felt like I was in a dream because there was no way my life could go from being so positive to being this painful all day everyday.

The worst part about my situation was that no trained Doctor, Spinal Cord Injury Specialist, Physical Therapist,Surgeon, or Nurse had any idea when it was going to get better.

Because according to all of them, no quadriplegics get better.

Ever.

Lucky for me, I had nothing to lose. Literally, I had no function from the neck down. I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. A lot of you have asked me how I am able to maintain such a positive outlook in such a dire circumstance? I don't know if I'll ever have the answer to that. What I do know is I never once had a doubt that I wasn't going to be okay.

You can call it "wishful thinking" or "positive outlook" or "plain insanity" but I think I would sum it all up to faith. I had to keep on keeping on. There was no giving up - that was not an option. Even though my life was incredibly different and challenging, I knew in my heart I had to keep on the path of success I knew that I was destined for.

My days straight out of the hospital went something like this....

Wake up - Mom helps me get out of bed and then dressed.

Breakfast - Someone pours me a bowl of cereal then feeds me with a spoon as I am unable to grip anything or move my hands/arms to feed myself.

Shower - My house was not handicap accessible when it came to taking showers, so I had to shower at a neighbors house down the street. Mom helped me with that too as I was unable to sit up since I had no balance or strength. I also would pass out frequently if I did not have my abdominal binder on. My blood pressure always ran extremely low so that didn't help my case either.

Mom would blow dry my hair and put it in a ponytail as I was unable to do all of those things. Also help me brush my teeth.

By the time all of those activities that been completed about 6 hours had passed. As it took an extremely long amount of time to complete any task for me. I would of also had to lay back down for my neck would be hurting a lot after all of those tasks.

My afternoons would be solely for homeschooling as I did for my junior year before returning to school my senior year - I had incredible teachers that understood how much pain I was in as that made it hard for me to focus on Algebra 2 or Creative Writing. As amazing as my teachers were I hated being homeschooled. I loved school and I would've done anything to go back but I had too much pain and no function to be able to return to school on my own.

When I didn't have homeschooling, I had therapy 5x a week. My mom and I drove down to Carlsbad (which is 1 hr 15 mins) away from our house we had land therapy then I had water therapy. Which of both, tired me out for days. I would sleep the entire way home from how exhausted I was.

In the rare occassion, I had time to hangout with my friends they would comeover and we would watch movies as it was really hard for me to go out places for long periods of time. That was hard for me. At times, I felt really isolated. My friends would talk to me about their problems or drama at school and I couldn't really relate anymore. I loved them and cared about them so much but I had a whole new set of problems that no one could understand. Not even my own family. That made me feel like I was on an island.

My mom always took me shopping which always made me feel better. But even at times I would be having fun I would do a 360 turn real fast and would start to feel like I was going to faint. I honestly never knew what struggles tomorrow was going to bring me and my body. I hated not knowing why things were happening to me and when it was going to get better.

Working out made life so much better for me - physically and mentally. When my body got stronger, I had less pain and I was able to do more for myself. Which made me feel so good. As months went by, I was slowly able to feed myself, grip things again and start doing some of the personal stuff for myself again. Just when I thought I was never going to get there, I would accomplish something new. Like, standing indepedently in my walker for the first time. Or wiggling one toe.

As those all seem like little goals to you - they were huge milestones for me. So that's what I started to do. I started to celebrate my little goals as they happened. Sure, they weren't my goals of running again but they were getting me there slowly but surely. So I made it my motto.

I look back at my schedule back in those days and think HOW THE HELL DID I GET THROUGH THAT? Honestly, how? My days are so different now, my pain is so much better, my life is so incredibly different and filled with so much joy it's not even funny. I have a family that has proven that they would do anything and everything for me. I have true friends that have never left my side and new friends that have proven to be some of the smartest and most motivating people I have ever met. I have a boyfriend that loves me exactly the way I am and is always there for me. I was able to adopt my own dog that is my responsibility to take care of - who brings me so much happiness that looking at him too long makes my cheeks hurt from smiling. Back then, I never thought it was going to be possible for me to live a life like this.

As life throws you curveballs, it's really hard to wait on the pitch and poke it into right field for a base hit. Most of the time we wanna pull the ball and end up grounding out to the pitcher for an easy out. Life isn't about the easy times being your best times. Sure it's nice not to have to go through any struggles but we all have to endure hardships in life. These hardships have the ability to define who you are as a person or the potential to break your spirit.

Hardships come and go - nothing ever stays the same forever, ultimately you have the ability to define exactly who you want to be in your life.

I wasn't meant to be a Division I softball player. I thought I was. But the big guy upstairs didn't choose that route for me and finally I have come to the grips that it's okay. He has got a much bigger plan for me. I am ready to embrace His plan for me with open arms.

No matter your age or where you are right now in your life - whether you are happy or depressed - I hope you are in a place in your life where you are ready to embrace God's plan for you too. And truly trust everything happens for a reason.

I am proof.

Xoxo,

A Guy's Girl