Is Pain Really Your Gain?

Have you ever heard the expression, "No pain, no gain?"

Pretty much the slogan I lived by playing softball. Whenever we had conditioning, weights or long practices; it was something I always put in the back of my head when things got rough.

I used to dread those days but oh the things I would do to have one more practice on the field...

As I was working out at the gym the other day, I ran into a good friend of mine. When I say good friend of mine, I am not referring to another 20 year old kid. I'm talking about a man who is in his 60s, who I have looked up to since I was first injured. Everytime I go to the gym, I always look forward to chatting with him. He too, sustained a spinal cord injury and like me, experiences chronic nerve pain.

What is nerve pain you might ask?

The best way I can describe it to you goes a little something like this. Imagine your foot falls asleep and it is starting to wakeup, you know that burning, itchy, tingly type of feeling you get when your foot is asleep - that is kind of what nerve pain feels like. Also, add extremely intense throbbing and firey pain.

The worst part about it is - it never really goes away fully. Sometimes it will be less painful but most of the time it's always there. Much like a dull ache that you can never get rid of.

So naturally you tell your doctor you have nerve pain and all they want to do is prescribe you painkillers to numb your pain. Unfortunately, those never worked for me. They make me feel like a zombie and thats not the way I want to live my life at 23 years old. I don't want to be dependent on anything to get me through my day. But that's the type of society we live in today. Pop this, take this, you'll feel better if you don't feel anything at all. But is that really true? If you numb your pain for a little - is it really ever going to fully change or go away? I don't have a certain answer for that.

Something you may not know about me is, like my friend, I too struggle everyday with chronic nerve pain. I have been offered so many prescription medications for my pain ranging from heavy duty narcotics to medicinal marijuana. But Natalie you never seem like you're in pain? I never see you in a mood? You never complain or talk about your pain? I had no idea? I guess the best way to describe my attitude is mind over matter. I don't let my injury get the best of me. It has taken away a lot of things in my life and I don't let it take anyway anything else I can have control over.

Being a 23 year old woman, I live a very active life. I am constantly busy, running around and out and about. Some days my pain is so bad, I want to lay on my bed all day with my feet elevated (because that helps my leg pain) and feel sorry for myself. But do you want to know why I never feel sorry for myself?

And while sometimes my legs hurt so bad to the point of no relief I take a second and remember the fact that.....

I have legs - some people do not.

I have feeling in my legs - most paralyzed wish everyday they had pain or some type of feeling.

I have incredibly STRONG legs - they let me stand and walk on them as so many SCI victims dream they could do.

And while my legs don't let me run marathons yet - they get me in and out of cars independently, and they let me drive my own car.

I'm a very personal person. I was hesitant to start a blog for that exact reason. But I've realized throguh my struggles, someone out there listening might be able to benefit and take away something from what I've learned trying to balance physical pain.

So whether your pain is mental, physical or both - I urge you to try to take a route that helps you become a better you. If that includes tossing a couple beers back when your hurting then so be it.

Most importantly remember when you have pain - someone out there is wishing for the type of pain you're going through. Someone out there in the world is always going to have it worse than you.

Fight on,

A Guy's Girl