A Daily Dose of Perspective with Quadriplegic Hal Hargrave Jr

I hope you all enjoyed my last feature on olympic swimmer Amanda Beard, my next friend on A Daily Dose of Perspective is Hal Hargrave Jr.

For those who didn't read my last post - A Daily Dose of Perspective is a new series on my blog. This series is a collaboration of interviews I have conducted with a select few individuals that are incredible people - inside and out.

These are the people in society that continue to inspire, motivate and empower all of us to do better and be more with ourselves. I felt their perspectives on different subjects in all of their different life situations would be not only eye opening but also influencial - as we can take some of their advice and incorporate it into our daily lives. These people are not perfect - nor do they intend to be. They have all had something that they have had to deal with - but the way they were able to overcome adversity in whatever aspect of their life it was they managed to get through it gracefully. And most importantly, when things got rough they never gave in - they kept going.

Lets start with some background about Hal.

Hal woke up early on this day to drive a load of remodel supplies to crews working in Las Vegas NV. He drove up I-15 and pulled over at a rest stop to ensure the load was secured properly. He left the Barstow area and as he approached the Minneola Rd exit, he noticed in the distance an object on the road. As he got closer, he could tell that it was a large piece of tire tread in his path. He veered to the right shoulder to miss this tread and while correcting to come back on to the road lost control of the truck. The truck rolled four times before coming to a stop. Hal was trapped in the crushed cab for 40 minutes before he was airlifted by Life Flight to Arrowhead Regional Hospital in Colton, CA.

Hal broke his neck, broke his scapula...there was tendon damage to his right shoulder. He fractured T1-2 Vertebrae - with the most damaging injury to the Spinal Cord at the C5/C6 level. Just like me. Which is kind of weird because even though our injuries are broken at the same vetebrae our injuries are nothing alike.

The first time I met Hal at Project Walk what I could remember about him was that he was SO positive. His emotional and mental outlook was fantastic - regardless of his situation. Hal tried to visit me at the hospital but I was too sick to have visitors. But he drove all the way to the hospital, not even knowing me or anything about me because he wanted to tell me I have friends that understand what you're going through. He was like some kind of angel in the flesh - I still to this day wonder how I got so lucky to have a friend like him in my corner.

So here's a typical convo with Hal and I...

I hope his perspective gives you a different outlook on your life today as everytime I talk to him he opens my eyes to something new and something I could do better and be grateful for in my life.

Tell us about yourself.

I am 26 years old from Claremont, CA. I consider myself to be a river rat. I just graduated from University of La Verne with a B.A in Communication and I plan on going to Grad School majoring in Leadership and Management. I am an avid sports fan and aspiring sports broadcaster. I currently am working for a Triple A Hockey team called Ontario Rain. I also run a nonprofit organization called "Be Perfect" where I raise money for spinal cord injury vicitims so that I am able to provide financial, emotional and resources for these people.

How did you deal with change after your accident?

It was hard because life was so good before it. I was 17, I had big dreams to go to Cal State Long Beach to play baseball then life just threw me the biggest curveball. I had to understand that things get better and there is always light at the end of the tunnel no matter how dark your circumstances may be.

I had to be open and not consumed with my past - ultimately receptive to change.

Everything had happened for a reason, I may have lost physical skills but I had gained even bigger mental ones.

What was the hardest thing you had to overcome after your accident?

Since I was injured in a car, one of the hardest things was getting back into one. I had to get through it and overcome my fears. It took me awhile to want to learn how to drive again - but I am successfully driving again. It feels incredible to have that sense of independence back.

How do you handle stress and pressure?

I try to slow life down and not let it get the best of you. I also think it's really important to jump on top of things and not being a procrasinator. I think it's importan to stop pushing life to the side and stop acting on impulse for deadlines. Staying on top of things and not letting things on the life bookshelf pile up. I try to always recharge my batteries and know how blessed I am.

How do you evaluate success?

I don’t use the term success in my life - I feel that that word is defined in other people's eyes. My own personal accomplishments they don’t matter to other people they matter to me and thats the most important thing at the end of the day. “I dont evaluate myself by looking at the person next to me”

Achievements are more important than success in my life. As long as I can do well and help as many people as I can than I am happy with myself.

If you could describe yourself in one word - what would it be?

Caring.

Nat says genuine.

What are you passionate about?

I really appreciate love - not just about finding romantic love but telling and showing others that they are loved. It has always been of such an importance to me to give people that reassurance that they need. I don't need that but I give love to others and show them the value that they mean to me. Because I truly mean it. Whether its support or friends or romantic, I don’t shy away from the word love. People need to feel it, we live in a world so cold that people are scared of using the word "love" for fear of being rejected. I’d rather be known as the nice genuinely person who said all those lovey things instead of the things other people were to scared to say.

What was the best advice you’ve ever gotten?

“Worry more about your character than your reputation- by john wooden

be yourself and be a good person if ppl can’t accept that move on

u can’t please as everyone - don’t change who you are

What do you think is the most important personality trait in a person?

Honesty.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

In my desired career with a family.

Some say that life is defined by 3 important days for some thats usually their wedding day, the birth of a child and so on. My three most important days were my accident,

the day I graduated college and the day I started driving again.

Any additional advice you’d give to someone who thinks a goal is out of their reach.

I think there is such thing as perfect - in the eyes of the beholder. Life is what you make of it - make it perfection in YOUR EYES AND TO YOURSELF. Those standards give you something to reach for. Strive to be the best you can be everyday.

In his interview you can tell that Hal has an incredible mindset - a mindset that pushes him through all his physical limitations. But what you can't tell from that interview is that Hal is paralyzed from the neck down, his injury has affected all 4 of his limbs. Can you imagine going through your day unable to hold a fork to feed yourself or get out of your own bed? Hal has started a foundation that has raised millions of dollars to benefit spinal cord injury victims, he's pursuing his dream career and he's living everyday to the fullest. He not letting anyone or any excuses stop him from making the most out of his life.

So whatever the circumstances may be - tell me what's stopping you from living your dream?

Xoxo,

A Guy's Girl