5 Hardest Times My Nattitude Got Me Through

Nattitude (adj) - a fearless, go getter attitude and spirit that can never be broken

I guess I considered myself to be pretty normal before the big accident. I've always had this really spicy and sassy attitude which was later known as my "Nattitude." The best way to define Nattitude is to imagine someone or something telling you you aren't good enough and you going out there and defying their predications.

But it wasn't just that. I've always wanted to be better at anything and everything I could. Nothing came easy for me academic-wise before my accident except sports. I never had to try and for some reason I clicked with any sport I played.

But what happens when everything you know gets pulled out from underneath you? What happens when very sport, every talent, every thing that ever made you feel good about yourself is taken away in the blink of an eye? How do you bounce back from that? Is it even possible to bounce back from something like that? Where do you even start? Those were just 1/4 of all the questions I asked the universe after my spinal cord injury.

Where do you begin to rebuild after your foundation is pulled out from underneath you? It starts with your attitude.

Sure it's impossible to always had a great attitude towards anything and everything, I think I know that better than anyone. But I do know that if my head wasn't in what I was doing, I would 150% never succeed.

When I first started physical therapy, it was the worst. I couldn't sit up, I couldn't breathe, I would constantly faint and it really seemed like things weren't ever going to get better. I started thinking that way for awhile. Like, is this really it for me? At 16 years old I'm going to not be able to sit up or be able to feed myself? I couldn't bring myself to think that things were going to be like that forever.

So I changed my attitude.

I'm sure you're all thinking how on earth can you change your attitude and start positive thinking at a time like that? Well, lemme tell you, when you have nothing else to lose and everything in the world to gain you start to look at the world differently. It changes your perspective. It absolutely tests you on moments in your life where you felt like everything was impossible to sudden moments of clarity. But when you finally feel those moments there really isn't any words to describe it. A positive attitude and outlook will give you clarity but negativity blocks out any kind of clear thinking you might've gotten.

I am going to share with you 5 moments that my Nattitude got me through and while these moments are probably extremely different than someone you've been through I'm sure the feeling of helplessness and loneliness are feelings that you have all felt before one time or another. I hope you can relate and understand that these feelings are 100% normal and it's all about the way you are proactive and reactive towards those feelings that make all the difference in the world.

1. My New Normal

Going from athlete to dependent quadriplegic wasn't a walk in the park (no pun intended) but the way I approached every new scary unknown situation that was thrown out in front of me with a can-do (N)attitude really helped me a lot. One of the most painful times I could remember when I was in the hospital was sitting up in a wheelchair for the first couple times and I kid you not it felt like my head was a bowling ball placed on a rubber neck. I had no support, I felt like my head was going to fall off but it was something I had to do and I had to get used to. Sure, I didn't want to but that didn't change the fact this was my new normal. The next time I got in that chair things got a little bit easier for me.

2. The First Time I Stood Up

Well, this was a doozy (literally!) because when I stood up the first time after my accident in a standing frame and I basically passed out. People who have SCI have extremely low or high blood pressure, for me it's very low which makes ot easy for me to faint. That was the first time I felt like I had no control over me and no one else did either, which was scary as heck. But it didn't stop me from trying it over and over again until I didn't feel like I was gonna pass out. My attitude got me over that speed bump by continuing to reassure myself that I was going to be okay and I had already endured the worst thing that was going to happen to me. Today, I can stand up against anything or anyone, my balance is still shaky but I'm not fainting. That makes me so happy I could scream.

3. Being Different

When I was injured at 16, it felt really weird to have people constantly staring and looking at me like I was some kind of alien. It was really really hard at first. I jist wanted to yell at people but what was that going to do? In the beginning, I created a new persona/alter-ego for myself that I was some kind of celebrity and that's why people constantly stared at me. I couldn't change the way they think but I could change the way I was thinking. That sure helped me a lot. I think that's why I've never been star struck but any celebrity I've met (and I've met a lot!) because in my mind I've always been one ;) haha. Seems silly.

4. The Physical Pain

A lot of people don't know that people who are paralyzed actually have a lot of pain, which totally sucks. And some people who are paralyzed have no pain or feeling whatsoever. I am one of those people who have a lot of pain. It has without a doubt taken me out of my days and made me want to sit on the couch and cry and say "why me?" Sure, feeling sorry for yourself feels good for about a whole 2 seconds but what is that going to solve? Absolutely nothing. I started looking at my pain with a different perspective, like a least I can feel my legs and my toes and my butt! I have a lot of friends that would give anything to feel again. I try to think of them when I have really painful days. On those days, my attitude is a reflection of those who have it worse than me. Yeah the pain is still going to be there but my attitude gets me through it.

5. All The Things I "Can't" Do Anymore

There is no doubt I miss a lot of things I used to be able to do like play catch, run on the beach and I go could on and on for days. I try to fill my heart and soul up with things that give me a new purpose and make me feel good about myself. I enjoy doing anything in the water because I am able to move around so freely and it feels amazing. Although I might have to take the longer and harder route to get around, I am still very adventurous and spontaneous in every aspect of my life. I am going to get absolutely nothing from crying about all the things I wish I was able to do still. All I can do is move forward and try to be the best I can be each and everyday. My Nattitude in me helped me see that.

I'm not saying it's not okay to feel bummed out or it's bad to wish things were different in your life, all I am saying is take those feelings and fill them with motivation and drive to be better in any way you can.

The only thing we can be for sure about in this life is CHANGE. If your sad, depressed, lonely, or just the opposite life is constantly changing and you are never going to feel the same way your entire life. That is a promise!

Attitude is everything and when you start making it a priority you will notice all the difference in the world in your life.

And if you are ever in need of some Nattitude you know where to find me.

Xoxo,

A Guy's Girl