The Gratitude Series

Gratitude, one word that goes a long, long way in life.

After my accident, much like any teenager I had good and bad days. But my bad days were pretty awful. They usually consisted of undeniable nerve pain and for those of you who do not know what nerve pain is well then let me fill you in. Neuropathic pain feels like your legs were asleep and they are just waking up on top of soreness and the worst throbbing pain you've ever felt. I don't think words can ever fully describe the pain I've felt for years in my legs.

What do you do for something like that though? That was my new life I was forced to live. So I could do two things, number one option I can get pain killers and numb the pain away. Numb the pain away? Are you insane? You're talking about a girl who used to be completely, 100% paralyzed from the neck down. Why in the world would I ever consent to taking medication to make me not be able to feel? That was all I wanted to do. Feel, feel, feel. I would've done anything for it. So I did, I suffered so I could feel.

Those days were days that I wanted to stay in my bed with my feet elevated and just forget about everything. Because I could. Because I didn't feel like going out and describing what I was going through with people that could never possibly understand.

Then I thought to myself wow Natalie snap the heck out of it. What was I complaining about? I was told I'd never be able to feel anything ever again. Here I am, with massive amounts of pain but at least I am able to feel it. There were so many days in the hospital where I would of been over the moon with excitement just to feel a soft blanket on my leg again. So take a deep breath Nat and pull yourself together. You broke your neck, you can handle nerve pain.

Whenever my pain gets to be so severve some days, I try to think about someone somewhere who has it worse than me. Sure, my legs don't do things when I want them to sometimes but I live an amazing life. I have an incredible family, friends, and boyfriend who all make me so happy. There is so much I have to be thankful for. It is hard to have gratitude in crappy circumstances because it is difficult to see past the moment your in. I try to keep them in my head and heart when I'm feeling upset.

I had to find something else I could do when I was having a bad moment. So what did I do? Since I can't get enough of writing, I bought a journal. But this journal wasn't going to about me and my personal life it was going to be about others and what they have done to make a difference in my life.

Everyday, I would try to find something that someone did for me that made a difference in my day. Something I could be grateful for that day when I couldn't be grateful for anything else (in my mind). Then sooner than later, I noticed I filled the journal. There is so much to be grateful for in life if you just slow down and realize it.

This injury absolutely challenges you. It weighs heavy on my confidence, my self-esteem and my attitude at times. It could of been so easy for me to give up and say, "why me?" Anytime you feel like that just tell yourself, "why not me?!" If you think you can then you will find a way to make it happen.

Less attitude and more gratitude.

What are you grateful for?

Xoxo,

A Guy's Girl