Friendly vs. Flirty: Why Does Normal Conversation Make Us So Uncomfortable

I had the most awesome conversation with a guy at a bar last night....

said no girl ever.

Why is that? Why is it weird to have a casual great conversation with someone you just met? Is our generation so ridiculously into ourselves that we refuse to generate conversation unless we know for sure we are going to get something out of it?

The answer is yes.

So I'll share a little secret about myself, I'm a talker. Okay, well I guess that wasn't really a secret but hey there you have it. With that being sad, I've found myself in numerous awkward situations I've never wanted to be in with guys I didn't have feelings for. Simply because they were mistaking my friendliness for flirting. As uncomfortable as those moments were it really got me thinking, are guys just used to getting shut down so much that they will throw themselves at any thing who is nice towards them? And it's not just guys who are doing it, girls are throwing themselves out there as well. Why are we all doing this? We are acting this way because it is extremely hard to find the black and white line between being friendly and being flirty.

I find that to be pretty sad. What happened to enjoying a conversation with a cool person without the underlying expectation of having to go home with them to keep their interest in you alive. I don't have to go home with you. Why is that immediately expected? The easiest thing you can do is act easy and give them what they will, have, and always will get. If you wanna keep him interested than keep your clothes on. Before the bar, after the bar, and on Instagram.

For starters, girls it's time to get over yourselves. Just because a guy comes and talks to you at the bar doesn't mean he's trying to creep on you. If you aren't feeling a guy that's fine but you don't have to be a rude snob about it, you're not Mila Kunis.

Have you ever smiled at someone for no reason and actually analyzed their next facial expression? They are just absolutely shocked you smiled at them. Why did that person smile at me? What did I do? It's seriously like a crime to be nice nowadays. It's probably why people mistake it for flirtiness. Because no one is nice for no reason without wanting something in return.

In the digital world we live in, friendly casual conversation has become non-existent. Because people hide behind their laptops and iPhones to communicate with each other. When they actually have to have a real conversation they don't know what to do with themselves. We freak out and automatically think a guy is into us or is flirting with us if he sends a winky face emoji in his texts but maybe he just likes that emoji.

Guys, stop assuming she's down if she's just being friendly. If she is looking to take it to the next level than great. But don't assume just because she is a kind girl that's she looking for something more.

If we were all a little nicer to one another and acted with more self respect there would be NO blurred lines between flirtiness and friendiness.

Xoxo,

A Guy's Girl